My Son and Pole Dancing
Since my son was 6 years old it has mostly been just him and me. He was 7 when I started poling and in the years between 7 and 10 he didn’t know anything about pole. I would wait until he went to bed, put up my pole, practice, and then take it down. This went on for THREE YEARS, 2-3 times a week! Not because I was ashamed but I just didn’t really know how to explain it to my son.
The Journey
When I started my pole journey 10 years ago I never imagined the things I would learn, the people I would meet and the places it would take me. Currently I’m still amazed at how much pole itself has evolved within the 10 years. One of the best things about pole is the ability to keep learning new things! I simply love that the possibilities are endless! I first got into pole by organizing a pole party for my friend’s second bachelorette party. At the end of the party the instructor performed a dance and I was immediately hooked! I signed up the next week and have been taking classes ever since. Since I actually come from a dance background, (I currently teach ballet, tap and jazz), it was so nice to just be a student and not teaching. I love going to class practicing and coming back to class feeling accomplished!
The Controversy
During my years of poling I have posted many videos on Instagram of me poling. There was one video in particular that received the most controversy…the infamous video of my son spotting me on the pole for a certain move. Black Girls Pole re-posted the video and captioned “We love that he is there to spot his Mama” and the comments posted were a mixture of good and bad. I was in total shock at the number of bad comments! I really wanted to get this pole trick and didn’t think twice about asking my son to come and help me. I was completely unaware that people would have a problem with my then 14 year old son spotting me so I don’t fall off the pole! But they did. I was so naïve back then. I even tried to defend and respond to the comments but as one of my friends reminded me “you can’t argue with crazy.” There are so many small minded people who still don’t understand the pole world.
The Discovery
At age 7 my son wanted to see Spongebob in person so I took him on his first trip, a cruise to the Bahamas. We had a fantastic time! The next year I took him to France, Italy and Spain. After that we went to California, New York, Belize, Honduras, and Mexico. As we continued to travel to these different cities and countries I noticed something wonderful about my son, he was accepting of everything! Wherever we went he made friends, he would try new foods and try new activities. There was not one thing that he would say no to. He loved it all. He continuosly wanted to learn about different cultures, different people and different ways that people lived their lives. So one day after this discovery we were home and he was just playing in the living room and I decided to put my pole my up and start practicing. He watched me for all of about 2 minutes and then just went back to playing and that was it!
The Understanding
Immediately after being asked to write this blog I asked my son “Why do you support me in my pole journey?” I have never even thought of asking him this question. His answer was “Why not?” Makes sense, but I asked him to elaborate, his response “Mom pole is normal to me, you’ve been doing it my whole life so why wouldn’t I?” Again makes sense. So I asked him “why do you come in and spot me when I ask you to?” His response “Mom, you’re my mom if you ask me to do something and I don’t do it, I get in trouble. It’s just like when I’m supposed to wash the dishes. And you do a lot of stuff for me too.” Teenagers.
The Badass Team Life
Today my son is 16 and has now been to 13 different countries, lived in China for 3 weeks, and is pursuing music as a career. When I asked him these questions about pole I was thinking I was going to get some deep answer, but I didn’t. Pole is just a part of his “normal” life. It’s just as normal to him as traveling, his music career and all the opportunities he receives. So I then asked him how many of his friends have moms that pole? How many of his friends travel as much as he does for fun? How many of his band friends’ parents encourage them to make music a real career? How many of his friends have been invited to play at a jazz night club? He sat and thought about it and realized his normal is different. As we continued to talk we both realized we make a great team supporting each other in our passion for all things related to the arts and are pretty far from normal. But who wants to be normal anyway?