Pole & Pregnancy: The Journey Continues
If you’re like me and you’re someone who desires to have children, at some point you may have asked yourself the question, ‘How will a pregnancy impact my current life path?’
To Mom, or Not to Mom?
I’ve known I wanted to have children since I was a child myself (when I was a teen I said I wanted 5 or more...I’ve since come to my senses) -- but it wasn’t until I fell in love with pole in 2016 that I began to second guess this desire. My love for pole ran so deep it made me question: ‘How will I still pole while pregnant? Will I have to start my journey all over again after giving birth? Maybe I can do it once, but twice? Three times? Will I ever reach my pole goals?’
I’d consult Google from time to time searching, ‘Is it safe to pole dance while pregnant?,’ turning up nothing. While scrolling Instagram I’d come across pole dancers still going strong and busting out tricks throughout their pregnancies, coming back seemingly stronger than ever postpartum -- but I wasn’t convinced it would happen this way for me.
The Game of Control
After some thought, my strategy became to give myself a baseline of pole progress that would determine when I’d start trying to conceive. ‘After you can deadlift a handspring like it’s nothing, then you can start trying. After you have your first big performance, then you can start trying. After you host your first workshop, then you can start trying”. This quickly evolved into an annoying competition between my own desires. I realized I was trying desperately to control the outcome and presentation of my dreams. I was allowing the progression of one to dictate the possibility of another. The idea of both were becoming increasingly stressful and so I decided I needed to relinquish control and simply let life happen for me.
Divine Timing
And so, early last year I resolved - I’d work at a pace that was comfortable and enjoyable for me toward my pole goals AND I’d start working on that baby. Whatever was for me, was for me. I would tell myself, ‘Nothing that is for me will miss me. My life is divinely timed.’ Fast forward several months and, ta’da! Baby C is on the way, coming August 2021!
Almost immediately, pregnancy took a toll on my pole journey. For a solid 5 weeks I was plagued with the WORST morning sickness (although let's be real it was all day sickness) and I could barely get out of bed, let alone hop on a pole. I was bummed that I most likely wouldn’t be attending any retreats or learning any new tricks this year, and once again, the anxiety over how a pregnancy and baby would impact my future with pole crept up.
Pole is a Lifelong Journey
After surrendering to morning sickness and warming up to the idea that this was the time for me to truly listen to and honor my body, I recommitted myself to relinquishing control and forcing nothing. As much as I would have loved to get a good practice in these past few months, (I dream about it regularly), I know pole is not something my body is asking for just yet. Instead, it’s asking for deep stretches, slow, intentional yoga, long walks and plenty of sleep.
I still worry from time to time about how much skill I will have “lost” over the course of my pregnancy, what poling while pregnant will actually be like (because hell yes I’m getting back to it!), what my postpartum journey will look like - and OMG there is SO much music I want to dance to. Simultaneously, I’m loving the me that is evolving from having no choice but to release control. Letting go of my ideas of what should be and being present in what is has always been a struggle for me. Both my pole and pregnancy journeys have married together in a challenging, but beautiful lesson in embracing and fully living just that. I always say, “Pole can be a lifelong journey if you let it.” I’m beyond grateful to see this still rings true. Now, more than ever, the lessons, the mirror, and the journey that is pole, continue.
BGP’er,
Bree J. Christopher