You are good enough RIGHT NOW!
Can I be honest with you? When I first started Black Girls Pole, I always felt like a hot mess and like I didn’t have my $h!t together. I used to say to myself, “Who would want to follow Black Girls Pole? I am not good enough for people to follow this brand. I don’t know anything about running a business.” I did not realize it back then that this feeling had a name and it is called Imposter Syndrome.
What is Imposter Syndrome? A pattern in which individuals doubt their accomplishments and have an internalized fear of being found out or exposed for being a fraud in their field. Not believing you deserve the things you have achieved or accomplished and thinking you are under-qualified for the space that you are in. Phrases like “I will do a competition when I am skinnier.” “I will perform in a show when I get a certain move.” “I go to a retreat when I have been poling for a certain amount of time.” become the norm. Girl...Admit it you are guilty! We all are! We are so quick to dumb down our excellence because for some reason that little voice in our heads talks us out of our greatness. Stop second guessing if you are enough and just dive in! The next time you feel imposter syndrome creeping in, try a few of these tips to kick it quick!
Identify when it happens.
Identify the feeling when you start to have doubts. Don’t be afraid to talk about it with someone you know and trust and most importantly who won’t judge you for those feelings. Chances are you will see that more people feel this way than they let on. Start to accept the fact that the space you are in is for you and you are exactly where you are supposed to be.
Don’t give anyone the chance to try you. Know your stuff. Whatever the circumstances, always be ready. Train for the competition. Study for the exam. Get in the best shape you can if you have an event coming up! When the anxiety comes, and it will, Breathe. Take 5 deep breaths and be okay in the moment. Know it will pass. You can not control the things around you. You can only control how you react to them.
Failure means growth.
If you never fail, how will you learn to get better? My failures in life have made me stronger. It means I tried. It means I gave it what I had at that time. Ask yourself what is the worst that can happen and reevaluate what it means if you do fail? It might be a stepping stone to the next victory. So what if you don’t place in your first pole competition. You Tried and trust me you will bounce back from it. Recognize that by trying, you showed up as the best version of yourself at that time. KEEP GOING!
Stop comparing yourself.
Friends...Seriously. We have to stop doing this. I am guilty. We are all guilty. Never compare your lows to someone elses high because it is a recipe for disaster. I have been on social media looking at pole/hair/makeup/ videos and seeing other entrepreneurs getting praise for their achievements and I have to put my phone down because Cassandra the Comparison creature comes out. If I let her, Cassandra will put me in a deep depression. We all do it but when you feel it happening , shift your focus and learn to value your own strengths. Once you start respecting your own potential, you will soon realize that you have a lot to offer.
Day after day you should be trying to be your greatest self. I know people say it all the time and it becomes corny and not genuine But I am here to tell you TODAY that No one will ever be able to do you the way you do. You were hand picked specially designed by God. Every cell in your body, every hair on your head, every thought, every vision and any dream ...that is all you. There is no greater sense of joy and accomplishment than making a plan, sticking to it and seeing it through! Allow yourself to feel joy! Get out of your own way. Step onto the stage, apply for a new job, go to a pole retreat. Just do it! There is no time like the present to be anything but great.